


Caleb in Wonderland

by funnygirlthatbelle13



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Alice in Wonderland Fusion, Boderline Widomauk, Gen, I’m adding tags as I go, M/M, Reference to Canon Death, Shrinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22182409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funnygirlthatbelle13/pseuds/funnygirlthatbelle13
Summary: After a spell from Vence, it seems that Caleb is down the rabbit hole! In his quest to get back to his friends, he encounters many strange and even dangerous situations.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss & Caleb Widogast, Mollymauk Tealeaf & Caleb Widogast, Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	1. Down the Rabbit Hole

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this idea sort of just happened after an eight hour shift at Hallmark the week before Christmas, and I’ve just been going for it. These first two chapters are on the short side, but it gets longer after that! I’m already about 3.5 chapters done, so hopefully, I can get some of the more fun stuff up soon!

There was good news and bad news, Caleb thought. 

The good news was that Vence had been easier to find than they’d thought, as the idiot had taken off the amulet to take a bath. 

The bad news was, once found, he was hard to hit. 

They had been trying to incapacitate him for several minutes now, but nothing was working. The spiritual lollipop could not hit its mark. Beau’s stunning strikes were not stunning as they should. Even Nott was having trouble hitting him, a crossbow bolt barely grazing the wizard’s calf. 

So when a firebolt finally hit its mark, Caleb couldn’t help but smile as some of the blue robes caught flame. 

The smile faltered when Vence turned and shot a bolt of something purple at him. It didn’t hurt, at least, not as much as he thought it would, but he felt his eyelids begin to droop. 

“Caleb!” he heard Beau shout, “Stay with us, man!” 

But he could hardly focus on her words. Not when, as he stared at him, Vence began to slowly transform. White fur began to cover his body and large ears sprouted from his head until he was half wizard, half large, white rabbit. 

As he began wracking his brain for what kind of spell this could be, the white rabbit ran off. 

“Let’s go!” he shouted before chasing after him. He darted between trees, barely keeping up, before he saw the Vence Rabbit hop into a large rabbit hole. 

Caleb glanced behind him, but none of the others were in sight. 

“They’ll be here soon,” he said with a sigh before jumping into the rabbit hole. 

Despite his recent studies regarding gravity, Caleb had no dunamantic explanation for the strange way gravity worked inside the rabbit hole. One moment he was free falling. The next, he was suspended in midair, completely unmoving. Then plummeting at rapid speeds. Then gently floating as if he’d cast Feather Fall. All the while, chairs and pianos and all sorts of random objects littered the air, suspended as if he’d used his newest spell from Essek. 

As he fell, Caleb saw a root sticking out of the dirt and reached for it. But the root seemed to sense his touch and vanished into the earth as he got close. Limbs spread in every direction like a flying squirrel, his body froze, suspended over a checkerboard patterned floor. 

He barely had time to wonder how high up he was before he suddenly crashed into the floor. 

“Scheiße,” he muttered as soon as he felt like he could breathe again, “Ow,” he whined, slowly dragging himself up to look at his surroundings. 

He was in a small room completely covered in black and white tiles which formed a checkerboard pattern. There were no windows and no doors to be seen, and the only furniture to be found was a black metal table like he sometimes saw at fancy cafes in Rexxentrum. 

“Oh boy,” he muttered to himself before scrunching his face up in thought, “If that arschloch isn’t here, then there’s got to be a way out. 

He scanned the room again before noticing a door in the corner that was so tiny, he doubted that Sprinkle could have made it through. He tried to open the door, but the knob was too small for his hands. 

“Curiouser and curiouser,” he muttered to himself, eyes darting around the room before he made his way to the table. 

There he found just two things: a bear claw with the words “Eat Me” written on it in frosting and a bottle of sparkly cerulean liquid with the words “Drink Me” on the label. 

Caleb quickly began muttering the verbal component of Detect Magic, only to feel the spell fail the same as when he had tried to cast in the Happy Fun Ball. After cursing to himself, he eyed each of them, trying to think of any way he could deduce their purposes. 

As he swirled the potion around, recalling something Nott had once told him about the viscosity of acids, he realized that the cork to the potion was not sealed properly.

“Vence must have used this,” he muttered to himself as a part of him wondered if he had always talked to himself this much, “So it must be the one.”

Slowly, carefully, he placed one, two, three drops of the potion on his tongue and waited. But after several seconds passed and nothing bad happened, he took a small swig from the bottle. 

As he recognized the flavor of the potion (apple strudel and brandy, of all things), Caleb watched as his clothes seemed to get bigger and bigger and the table seemed to get taller and taller. It dawned on him that this must be some sort of shrinking potion, and just a moment later, he slipped into the darkness of his clothing. 

It took him five minutes to escape from inside his own clothing, and another ten to wrap the now seemingly massive bandages around himself so he wasn’t completely nude, before he made his way to the door, which was now twice as tall as him.

Staring at the now ginormous door, Caleb sighed, briefly wishing that his books had also shrunk down with him, before turning the knob with both hands.


	2. Welcome to Wonderland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, admittedly, I had hoped for a stronger opening than that. But these things do happen, and I’m determined not to let all the time I’ve put into this go to waste!

As Caleb opened the door, he found himself rapidly blinking to adjust his eyes to the bright sunshine that lay outside the rabbit hole. 

He seemed to be in a gigantic garden. The grass, so green it looked almost black, came up to his shoulders. The stones outlining the flowerbeds were about an inch taller than him. And the flowers… the flowers towered over him, behemoth plants reaching up to the sky. 

Or maybe he was just tiny. 

He hardly had a moment to wonder if this was how Luc felt all the time before he stopped dead in his tracks, having heard something. 

A whisper. 

“Who’s there?” Caleb called, scanning the grass for a source, but no one was around. 

A giggle. He spun around. 

“Show yourself!” 

Nothing.

And then, another giggle. 

“What’s wrong with its petals?” a voice above him whispered, “They’re so droopy!”

“It’s petals?” another voice whispered, “I’m more interested in why it’s stem is so pale.”

“Hello?” Caleb called, running further into the grass, “Hello?”

“Hey, fuckface!” an extremely familiar voice called to him, “Look up!” 

He did so, and Caleb couldn’t help but gulp in response to what he saw. Standing above him was a massive yellow flower who stood as tall as his childhood home, leaves bent as if hands were resting on hips. In the mess of petals, he could almost make out a familiar face. 

“Beauregard?” he whispered in confusion. 

“I’m a Dandelionett, motherfucker.” 

Caleb needed a moment to compose himself, taking a few deep breaths, before turning back to the flower.

“What is going on here? Where are we?”

“Where are we? We’re in this fucking garden, ya dummy.”

“Ja, I can see that,” he said through gritted teeth, “But… on a grander scale, where are we? And why won’t my magic work?” 

“Where are we? We’re in Wonderland! Where the fuck else would we be?” she said with a laugh, “And magic doesn’t fucking work anywhere except the castles. Gods, you’re dumb.” 

“And the castles, where are they?” 

“They move as part of the game, fucker. You gotta find one!” 

The Dandelionett had her leaves crossed in a way that very much reminded Caleb of his monk friend. 

“So… what is it that you do here?” he asked, hoping he sounded more nonchalant than he felt. 

“We,” she said with a smirk, “We root out corruption on both sides.”

“Both sides of the garden?”

She glared at him. 

“Both sides of the fucking game, man,” she said with a frustrated sigh. 

“Oh… are you a walking,talking flower, then?”

The Dandelionett eyed him carefully, the expression one Caleb was very familiar with. It was one Beauregard often sported when deciding if someone was the effort it would take to kick their ass. 

“Just go already,” she said with a huff, “The game’s already started.” 

He stormed into the dark as night grass, letting out a frustrated scream as he made his way through the garden.

“I heard that, motherfucker!” the voice called after him.

Caleb continued to storm through the garden, muttering under his breath about rude monks before noticing that the grass seemed to suddenly change from a deep green to a dry looking white. 

“Was?” he muttered, touching it. This white grass seemed just as healthy as the dark green type, and the divide was perfectly straight. 

“Must be some sort of gardening trick,” he reasoned, stepping into the white grass. 

As he trekked onward, the grass around him grew taller and taller until he could no longer see the bright blue horizon ahead of him. 

He trudged through the tall grasses for seven minutes before suddenly, an overwhelming and unmistakable sense of fear overtook him, and he had no idea why. 

Then he smelled the smoke. 

But it wasn’t smoke from a fire, he realized. Not a campfire or a candle or burning flesh. No, this was a type of smoke that even he didn’t immediately recognize. 

Caleb began to follow his nose until, eventually, he saw rings of blue smoke filling the air. He couldn’t help but cough as the strange smelling smoke filled his lungs. As the smoke began to clear, a face emerged from it, smirking at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo I wonder what will happen next! I mean, not really. But you know what I mean. What did you think? Any guesses who’s coming next?


	3. Advice from a Caterpillar

The smoke cleared, and Caleb could clearly see who was in front of him. It was Essek, or at least, Essek’s face. For, rather than his small, handsome frame, Essek’s perfectly sculpted head was attached to a massive caterpillar holding a platinum hookah. 

For a brief moment, Caleb wondered if the smoke was causing him to hallucinate, but then, the caterpillar with Essek’s face spoke. 

“Who are you working for?” it asked in Essek’s cool, familiar voice. 

“Right now?” Caleb asked, “Well, uh, that’s… a bit complicated. We-“

“Which side are you on?” Essek asked, beginning to circle him with his massive caterpillar form. 

“I, uh, right now, we’re on the border of-“

“Which team do you play for?” The questions were more insistent now, he thought, as blue smoke was puffed directly into his face. 

Through watery eyes and a coughing fit, Caleb managed to utter, “Neither- both… it is complicated.” 

“There are two sides in this game. You must belong to one or the other. There’s a king of white and a king of red. Which of them do you wish to see dead?”

Caleb stared at him, thoroughly nonplussed. 

“The Bright Queen is married?”

The caterpillar said nothing, but continued to circle around him. 

“A pawn is a piece that no one cares about until suddenly everyone does. I am on my way to deal with a different pawn right now, so I will let you by.”

“Danke,” he mumbled, bowing his head. 

“But the next time we meet, I will expect an answer when I ask you: who are you?” 

“I understand- thank you. I truly appreciate-“

“Now go,” the caterpillar commanded, “as we often say, a journey of a thousand miles begins with seventeen steps.” 

The caterpillar unwound himself around him, blowing a little bit of smoke to the north. 

“Go.”

And Caleb did, thoroughly confused and with watering eyes. He made his way through the white grass, mind racing with theories as to what was going on. 

“Frumpkin told me that the Feywild was a strange and unpredictable place… perhaps I have somehow landed there?” he said to himself, “If Vence is of the fey… that could explain some things.” 

He continued to trudge along for another minute in silence before stopping dead in his tracks. 

“But then, what about Beauregard and Essek?” 

Caleb wracked his brain for any information he had of fey who did not serve as his emotional support animal. 

“Frumpkin once said… fey who get bored sometimes make themselves appear as… interesting mortals. Essek and Beauregard would certainly qualify.” 

He sighed. 

“So, I need to find my cat.” 

With a goal in mind, he continued making his way through the tall grasses once more. 

Caleb continued walking for another ten minutes before the grass changed once more. It was back to its green so dark it was practically black. 

“It’s like a checkerboard,” he muttered, “curiouser and curiouser.”

He took a step into the new square, but his foot did not find purchase in the grasses. Caleb found himself tumbling down a hill, only barely avoiding the thorns that seemed to inexplicably cover the hillside. 

“Ow,” he moaned, laying still at the bottom of the hill. Nothing seemed to be broken, but he was covered in small scratches and was unbelievably sore. 

“Why, hello there!”

Caleb opened his eyes to see Pumat Sol smiling down at him in that friendly way of his. He was wearing a strange striped shirt with a matching red beanie and pants. 

“Hallo,” he greeted, wincing as he sat up. Now he saw another Pumat standing nearby, who approached with an outstretched hand. Caleb took it and was helped to his feet. 

“Danke,” he mumbled, “But I need to get going.”

He began to walk away, but the Pumat’s grabbed his hand. 

“You can’t say goodbye yet! We haven’t gotten to know each other yet!” the Pumat on his left.

“It would be rude,” the Pumat on his right agreed. 

“We don’t even know your name!” 

Caleb wiggled his arm out of one of their grasps, and the other let go. 

“But you know my name… my name is Caleb Widogast.”

“I’m Tweedle Pu,” the one on his left said.

“And I’m Tweedle Sol.” 

“What happened to Tweedle Mat?” 

Both of the Tweedle Pumat’s glanced between each other, an awkward sadness palpable in the air.

“Well…” Caleb muttered awkwardly, “I’m going to go. I’m looking for my cat.”

“Curiosity killed the cat,” Tweedle Sol said.

“Curiosity killed Tweedle Mat,” Tweedle Pu shot back. 

“Curiosity killed the oysters, too.”

“No, that was the walrus!”

Both Tweedle Pumat’s turned to face each other, fury in their eyes. 

“But the walrus killed the carpenter!”

“No, no, it was the other way!” 

Caleb took a few steps back, and stared at the firbolgs. Neither noticed. He turned and ran.

Caleb ran north until eventually encountering a path heading northwest that he followed. He continued running until he literally couldn’t breathe. 

As he stood there, hunched over and catching his breath, a smile appeared in front of him. Not a smiling face, but a floating set of teeth. 

Before his eyes, a set of red eyes appeared above the smile. 

“Careful, dear. Don’t forget to breathe now.”

As Caleb attempted to process hearing that voice again, perhaps the strangest figure he’d encountered today appeared before his very eyes. 

It was Molly. Or, at least, sort of. The red eyes, fanged smile, face, build, and coat were all classic Mollymauk. But he was… strange. Strange even for Molly. For one thing, aside from the coat, he was entirely nude. He was also covered in a purplish grey fur. And the cat tail, cat ears, and whiskers were oddly off putting. Sure, he’d seen tabaxi before, but this was something different, something stranger.

But all of that didn’t change the fact that this was Molly, alive and well, and Caleb couldn’t help but let out a choked laugh, tears threatening to betray him.

“So you know the legend?” Molly said with a smirk. 

“Ja,” Caleb said, smiling wide, “I think I do.”

“Good! Very few people are wise enough to recognize the awesome power of the one, the only, The Cat!”

Molly stood in front of him, striking a dramatic pose. 

“The Cat?” he repeated. 

Molly the Cat slumped a little. 

“It loses something in translation,” he muttered. 

Caleb couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face. The body might be wrong, but it was still Mollymauk. 

“It is good to see you… my friend,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Despite himself, he launched himself into Molly the Cat’s arms. 

“Oh, you’re a good- you’re shaking, dear. Are-are you crying?” 

He was, and before he could get a word out, a fuzzy tail had been presented to him. Absentmindedly, he wiped his eyes with it, a shaky laugh escaped him.

Molly the Cat stared at him, concern evident in his eyes. 

“You’re a lost soul, aren’t you?” he asked. 

He nodded, throat tight.

“Now more than ever, in many ways. I-I had plans. I always had plans. But now, everything is so big, and I don’t know what to do and-“

“Sh,” he whispered, a coy smile on his feline face, “You can’t let the voices in your head overwhelm you, dear.”

He snapped his fingers and, out of nowhere, a waltz began to play. Molly offered his hand (Why did a cat have a hand?) that Caleb took, allowing himself to be led in a waltz. 

There, in Molly’s arms, with the music gently surrounding them, he felt the calmest he had since last visiting Nicodranas. Caleb closed his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy this one thing. 

“See? Letting go isn’t so bad,” Molly said with a chuckle, spinning him. Despite not expecting it, Caleb managed to keep in time with the music. 

Molly disappeared, and Caleb briefly panicked before feeling a gentle tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Molly watching him, a grin on his face. 

“I have to go now,” he said, “The rules say so.”

“And since when did you follow rules?” he mumbled with a smile before it faltered, “I wish we had more time.” 

Molly frowned before taking off his coat.

“Nein, I cannot-“ 

“If you’re going to keep going, it’ll get cold. And you’re already shivering.”

It was true, and Caleb hadn’t even realized it. With trembling hands, he pulled the coat on, feeling so small in it.

“There’s a good boy,” Molly said with a purr, “Now go.” 

“I don’t even know what I’m looking for… let alone which way to go.”

“Well,” Molly said, “paths are usually forged because there is something desirable on the other side.”

Caleb nodded.

“Ja, that… might be the first thing I have heard today that makes sense.”

Molly smirked. 

“Glad to be of service. Now… go. There’s so much you need to do.”

Caleb stared at him for a moment longer, memorizing everything about him, before turning and walking away. But he hardly got twenty steps in before he turned around.

Molly blew him a kiss. And then, the body was gone. Then, his head. Then, his eyes disappeared. Caleb stared at the floating smile until it too disappeared. 

And then he stared some more.

“Long may he reign,” he said with a sigh before turning away and continuing on the path in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, that’s how it starts! I hope I’ve done a good job hooking you. As always, please remember that validation in the form of kudos, comments, bookmarks, and sharing with your friends is what keeps the creativity a-flowing!


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